Oh you dirty dirty little kitchen!!

Oh kitchen, how I have neglected you.  I am so sorry for mistreating you and stuffing your cute little cabinets full of unwanted little things that I don't need "right now."  How was I to know that I would never find the lids to those 25 tupperware bowls that were crammed into that tiny little cabinet?  I had no idea that spices went bad after just 2 years, I would have thrown them away if I would have known the pain that they caused your poor little spice rack self.  I know it is just me and my husband, but I am just positive that we need 15 dinner plates and a whole pile of bowls.  Also, that silverware drawer has to have at least 30 forks and 30 spoons or I am simply unprepared for mass food disaster! 
Please forgive me for splattering all that grease on the range hood while frying some of my (delicious) chicken.  I can always clean the grease and grime tomorrow right?  That chicken sure did taste good though. 
Cleaning the garbage can?  Why would I clean a garbage can?  It holds garbage.  Oh you poor plastic garbage can with paper and liquid stuck to your bottom.  I always put a bag in you, how was I to know that on the inside you were a mess?  I didn't take the time to clean your lid the way I should. 
My old faithful refrigerator.  I love you dearly, you keep my lettuce so crisp and my tomatoes red and plump.  Whenever my throat is aching for a cold drink, you are always there to help me in my moment of need.  Because of you I am able to prepare wonderful dinners for my little family.  I am so sorry that I let you down and neglected you the way I did.  I let those cucumbers turn into mush in that bottom crisper drawer.  I am so sorry that they spilled icky gooey green stuff all over your pretty little white bottom.  I had no idea that American Cheese had an expiration date.  It got very sticky and Im sure it hurt when I pried that stuck on cheese off of your thin plastic shelf. 
Oh little kitchen of mine, I promise to scrub you up good as new.  I will perform a miracle cleansing and you will be looking good and feeling great.  Don't give up on me dear kitchen, I will scrub you clean with every ounce of fight I have left in me.  I promise I won't let you down. 
Now where did I put that bleach...